Why Choose a Birthing From Within® Childbirth Mentor?
What is "Radical, Compassionate Childbirth Preparation?
Birthing From Within® on "What is a Childbirth Mentor":
Everyone who interacts with a pregnant woman is, in some way, her “teacher.” Telling birth stories, sharing resources, imparting obstetrical information, giving advice or warnings—these are all direct or indirect ways of teaching about birth and parenting.
The women and men who attend our Introductory Workshops ("The Art of Childbirth Mentoring"), and then enroll in our Mentor Certification Program, are committed to doing MORE than simply imparting childbirth information or issuing warnings, advice, or cliches about birth. They are embracing the mentoring model for expectant couples in their community. They are not merely educating, but truly, profoundly initiating. They see the window of the childbearing year as an opportunity for learning about oneself, not "trying to get it right."
As Mentors, they bring certain knowledge and experience about: childbirth; navigating through the hospital; parenting; and human nature... beyond what can be gleaned from books. They also know that pregnant women and expectant fathers bring wisdom about their own coping mechanisms, social network, personal assumptions and agreements; However, these men and women have not yet walked the road through birth, the hospital environment, or into parenting themselves, and naturally turn outwards, seeing support and information. So the Mentor dances between deeply listening, being in a solution-focused mindset, encouraging parents' self-awareness and reflection, and clearly and engagingly delivering current, relevant birth infomation.
To help others know themselves, you must also be on a quest to “know thyself.” So in our workshops and programs, there is a strong emphasis on our Mentors' personal awareness and growth. They have their own mentors (our Advisors) who support, encourage, challenge, and educate them as they hone their skills and knowledge. Because it takes 3-5 years of committed, diligent work to become a Certified BFW Mentor, we know it is not the easiest, cheapest, or shortest path to being a childbirth educator. But it certainly the most rewarding!
Birthing From Within® explains "Radical, Compassionate Childbirth Preparation":
What does this mean? We like to think that our holistic classes and workshop prepare anyone--pregnant women, dads, and birth professionals of all stripes--for the mystery of birth. Stepping into the unknown, the intensity, the surprises of birth isn't for the faint of heart. We are radical enough to know that positive thinking, book-learnin', and a doula may not be enough to get through the intensity of birth. Whether labor is fast and crazy, long and hard, ecstatic or mind-blowing, you really can't truly prepare. So, what are Birthing From Within classes and professional workshops for?
We propose something radical: beyond affirmations, pretty pictures, and obstetrical facts. Seeing Birth as a Hero's Journey means that we aren't so concerned with achieving a "natural" or "vaginal" birth, or, vaguely, "empowering women." (What does that mean, anyway?) Our focus is on preparing the Birth Warrior inside each woman--so that she is ready to do whatever it takes in each moment. Sometimes, that will mean digging deep for the strength to keep going or to surrender to a power beyond her understanding. Sometimes it will mean doing "the next best thing" and having a cesarean birth, though she tried with every ounce of her being to avoid it. Sometimes it will mean looking "weak," moaning, crying, being confused or vulnerable. Sometimes it will mean making peace with not being able to speak up for herself, or not doing whatever it was she hoped she could do or say. Sometimes it will mean that the the wise and compassionate action is getting an epidural.
Compassionate means: Reducing the anxiety and fear that parents have as they approach the initiation into parenthood. In our classes, we don't make promises, and we don't make threats. So our childbirth classes and professional workshops go deeply into personal exploration, into the realm of the Mystery, mindfulness, intimacy, myth, art, emotions, beliefs, and learning from every part of who we are: body, mind, spirit, and soul. We strongly believe that our workshops and classes reduce or prevent emotional birth trauma, fear, burn-out, frustration, disappointment, and guilt-- for everyone at the birth.
When we struggle so hard--as birth activists or as pregnant women--to "Get what we want," or achieve particular birth statistics, perhaps something is lost. Perhaps the outcome of the birth is none of our business and beside the point. Maybe... there is something more important to psyche and the arc of our lives than "a good outcome."
We hold the strong belief that we are preparing true Birth Warriors: they do not hope, or distrust, or try to control. They do what needs to be done in the moment. She knows what to do when she don't know what to do.